I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
