people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
