Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
