God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
