gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
