You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
