he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It's never too late to be topless.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
