is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
