i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He better not be in your backpack
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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