So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
