How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I forget how to act sober
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
