even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize