Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
