you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
