Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
not ubering you a puppy
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Couch. On fire.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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