Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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