You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
