Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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