Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Vodka?
Forever.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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