it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
