True but thats because hes a fetus.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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