God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
