Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
