I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
