no. you can't hotbox the world.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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