Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
