I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I AM VODKA MAN
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
