there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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