i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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