For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
