You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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