That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize