So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Let's get the cat blown out
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
