he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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