I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
