There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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