Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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