Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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