I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
