i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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