That's when you crack a 10am beer
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
