can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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