haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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