Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
