He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
