so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
