At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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