I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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