She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
