hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize