No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
