Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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