I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
