I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
