i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize