i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
