we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
