My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
now i know why i became what i already was.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The uberlube is also flammable
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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