We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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