so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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