Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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