I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
